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1. Eyeing your toys suspiciously after watching Toy Story.


2. "feel my legs!!!" "why...?" "i just shaved :)"


3. Ending a presentation by saying "And, yeah..."


4. I am a ninja.. no your not.. did you see me do that.. do what? ... exactly.


5. Everyone I know is getting married or pregnant, I'm just getting drunk.


6. When I hear myself eating crunchy food, I wonder if people can hear it too.


7. Acting like your texting on your phone when you see someone you don't want to talk to.


8. Mom, im 16 now. Can I have a Bra? ...No, Justin.


9. Truth or Dare? "Dare" .... No i'm not doing that.


10. Sometimes your knight in shining armor is just a retard in tin foil.


11. Everything i know in life i learned from friends – • Never use “we were on a break” as an excuse • Remember it’s not that common it doesn’t happen to every guy and it is a big deal • Everybody has a lobster • Quitting the gym is just as hard as quitting the bank • For more space in bed, use “hug and roll” technique • Yemen is a good place to escape unwanted girlfriends • You can do a lot with just cups and ice • Always say the right name at the alter • Powder and lotion will not help remove hot


12. Saying oh! like you get it. But you still have no idea.


13. Having sex is like playing poker. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.


14. All my life ive been saying duck tape not duct tape


15. Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit.


16. Your fourteen. you smoke, cigarettes and weed. you drink. your not a virgin, your boyfriends 18. you dress like a slut, because the older girls do. you swear, because it makes you look cool. welcome to whyalla


17. Ew, don't honk at me, you're like 80.


18. I WANNA GET CHOCOLATE WASTED!!!!!


19. Agreeing with people so they'll shutup.


20. Rawwwr means I Love You in dinosaur :)